Smackdown Thread

AJ Styles makes his entrance.

He lets the crowd chant a moment before beginning. For 14 days he’s been without the WWE Championship, and those 14 days seemed a lot longer than the 371 days he did have the title. No one likes to lose, and he hates losing, but it’s the way that he lost that bothers him. At this point we roll footage of him losing the title.

He continues, saying he knows he had a target on his back, but who would have thought that target would have moved somewhere else? But he gets it, he’s wanted something that badly before. No, what bothers him is the part afterwards where Bryan kicked him in the head over and over again to the point where he wasn’t medically cleared for Survivor Series or last week’s SmackDown.

So he watched Dan try to explain his actions from home, at which point we get a replay of parts of Bryan’s promo from last week. AJ says that sounds like BS to him, he doesn’t care which Daniel Bryan it is, he’s got the same face that he’s looking forward to smashing in. Hell, he doesn’t want to wait, he’ll do it right here, right now. (Because THAT went so well for you last time, Mr. Styles.)

But Bryan isn’t here, and he wasn’t on the live events this past week either, and he thinks Dan’s been watching Raw and getting ideas as to how things work over there, but this is the House That AJ Styles Built, and for 371 days he never missed a live event, a pay-per-view, or SmackDown, because he was the champ and this is where he belongs!

So when he rolls out of his hyperbaric chamber, he wants Bryan to make sure he’s at TLC, with his dreams, his excuses, and the WWE Championship, because that belongs to the Phenomenal AJ Styles!

Pictures of Jeff Hardy are set up in the ring, the roster is on the stage, and Michael Cole is in the ring to play master of ceremonies.

Cole starts in about Hardy’s 20th anniversary and gives him a big introduction.

Jeff makes his entrance and we get a video package where he narrates his career. He says he doesn’t know what to say other than to thank us all. Watching all his crazy moments he can’t believe he did half that stuff and he wonders what’s wrong with him. This business has given him a creative outlet and his facepaint is way better than it was ten years ago.

He feels free to be the Charismatic Enigma and that’s cool. Through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, each of us has stuck by his side and for that he’s eternally grateful. He thanks his wife and his daughters for making this night possible and says this is far from a retirement speech. He doesn’t know what happens in the future, but he wants to find out together, and he thanks us again--

Enter Samoa Joe. He congratulates Jeff on 20 years and begs forgiveness for his lateness because he was getting ready to propose a toast but realized having a bottle of champagne around him maybe isn’t the best idea. Shane McMahon goes to hold him back but Hardy wants Joe to come through and say his peace. Samoa puts the video package over and says it must have been a treat for Jeff since he wasn’t coherent enough at the time to remember any of it.

Joe doesn’t celebrate weakness nor believe in second chances, especially when men like him haven’t got their first. Hardy does the “Delete!” gesture and Samoa continues, saying what bugs him is despite all of Jeff’s mistakes he allows himself to be put on a pedestal. That makes him absolutely sick, because for as many times as he got us out of our seat, there’s an equal and opposite time he let us down.

People like Hardy never change, and the demons are always waiting to take control, so the next time he feels powerless, know that Joe offers a hand in friendship, a simple one-step program, swift but definitely not painless. Jeff says no matter what he says he can’t rain on his parade and he’s walked a tightrope for twenty years and he still lives for the moment, so what say they make one right now!

Samoa sets the mic down before deciding he wants no part of Jeff’s challenge, walking out

Randy Orton makes his entrance and we get a replay of his attack on Rey Mysterio last week.

He says people have called his actions disturbing but if he had to choose a word, he’d choose euphoric. He never really understood what the big deal about the piece of trash he ripped off of Rey’s face, and what he did wasn’t meant to disrespect his culture, but to embarrass and humiliate him, take him off the pedestal we’ve put him up on.

What he did was prove to us that at this stage in his career, all Mysterio is is another victim of the three most destructive letters in sports entertainment, R--

Enter Rey Mysterio! He’s wearing a neck brace and has a bit of a limp in his step but he’s headed for the ring! Randy slides out and Rey meets him with punches and kicks! The Viper gets a knee off and throws him into the barricades on either side of the entry! Tearing at the mask, he yanks the brace off and asks Mysterio how that feels before throwing him in the ring.

Referees swarm ringside but Rey ain’t down yet, kicking away as Orton tried to get back in the ring... 619! Slide under a lariat, leg-feed enzuigiri, on the second... another 619! Mysterio heads to the timekeeper’s area and grabs a chair but Randy cuts him off with a kick and hits the hanging DDT! To the outside, again he braces Rey’s neck with a chair... AND LARYNX CRUSHER ON THE STEPS!

Road agents Jamie Noble and five-time NWA World Heavyweight Champion Adam Pearce have joined the fray by this point and manage to pull Randy away from Rey, Orton tries multiple times to take Rey's mask, but Pearce gets in his face & shoves him away

Paige is in the ring, which has a table set up in it for our contract signing. Scattered around ringside are all the accoutremonts of tables, ladders, and chairs matches.

She begins, saying SmackDown is the brand that makes history, and she’s proud to sanction the first-ever women’s TLC match for the SmackDown Women’s Championship. But it’s not just a TLC match, it’s a triple threat, and she introduces the participants, starting with Asuka before moving on to Charlotte Flair, and saving the Smackdown Women’s Champion Becky Lynch for last.

Lynch says she makes history every time she steps foot in the ring and she plans on doing the exact same thing at TLC. Being put through a table or having a chair bent over her back or a ladder bent off her skull, none of that compares to the pain she’s endured to get here today, so it doesn’t matter to her if your opportunity was earned or not, she couldn’t care less and she’s gonna do anything it takes to win.

Charlotte tells her to change the song, because it’s been the same every week and she can spin it how she likes but the fact is she picked up the ball that she dropped at Survivor Series and destroyed Ronda Rousey with one kendo stick, and she’s pretty sure it took Nia Jax one punch to break her face. Lynch jaws at her and Flair tells her to shut up and imagine what’s gonna happen with tables, ladders, and chairs.

Becky says she’ll own her just the same and Asuka interrupts, saying Lynch already beat Charlotte... and has never beat her. At Survivor Series, Becky chose wrong, and Asuka claims she would have beaten Rousey, and at TLC she’s gonna beat her! Charlotte scoffs at the idea that Asuka could beat Ronda since she beat her streak at WrestleMania, to which Asuka tells her she got lucky one time.

They jaw at each other, Paige settles them, and Lynch says neither of them could beat Rousey OR her before signing the contract and leaving. Flair says she’s gonna beat both of ‘em, wooo, and Asuka fires back in Japanese. Charlotte says she shattered the mystique at WrestleMania and will finish her at TLC. Paige orders them to sign and they do so. Asuka then suggests that she might break Charlotte right now!

Paige tries to restore order but Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville make their entrance and question her methods to make history with these two undeserving women instead of the two women she personally groomed for stardom. Mandy points out that Charlotte lost at Survivor Series and Sonya points out that Asuka only won the battle royal by a fluke after she made one tiny mistake.

They want to see fire and desire, they’re looking right at it, and what happens if Charlotte and Asuka don’t make it to TLC? Paige tells them they’re past idle threats and books a tag match between them... right now!

Xavier Woods w/The New Day vs Cesaro w/Sheamus vs Jey Uso w/Jimmy Uso:

Xavier with a Wheelbarrow Face Eraser on Cesaro for a near fall, Honor Roll countered, Cesaro drives him into the corner, but Jey with a Leaping Enzugiri, Samoan Splash, but Cesaro gets the knees up & goes for a Small Package, but Xavier with The Limit Break, but Jey makes the save, Cesaro with an Airplane Spin/Giant Swing Combo then locks in The Sharpshooter on Woods, Jey looks to break it with a Superkick, but Cesaro catches it, Xavier with a rollup for a 2 count, but Jey blasts Cesaro with a Superkick for the win

Backstage, Rusev and Lana are interviewed and footage of Rusev being attacked by Shinsuke Nakamura last week. He says Nakamura’s terrified of his wine barrel chest, his biceps bigger than Mount Fuji, and his traps, like double decker taco supremes. Rusev’s hungry, but not for food, for the United States Championship. Shinsuke holds onto it like a toy, but it’s not a toy, it’s honor, courage, and tradition, things Nakamura doesn’t have.

He’s not avoiding it this time, though, because once he gets his hands on Shinsuke, he’s gonna feast on him on the greatest holiday of them all... RUSEV DAY!

Jeff Hardy vs Randy Orton:

Whisper in the Wind, Jeff only gets a piece of Orton the connection was ugly, for a 2 count, Basement Dropkick for a 2 count, Twist of Fate blocked, Orton with the Elevated DDT, he stalks Jeff, RKO, blocked, Twist of Fate spun out, RKO countered, Jeff with a Flying Forearm, up top, but Randy custs him off & meets him at the top, Jeff slides out and hangs Orton on the turnbuckle, Twist of Fate, up top, but Orton slides to the floor, Jeff takes apart the announce table, Release Back Suplex on Orton on the table & now he knows what it feels like, Jeff up top, but Samoa Joe distracts Jeff on the tron, Joe's at the bar & says Jeff's doing great to keep it up and orders one more round, Randy spins Jeff around & hits a RKO for the win

Joe continues, saying he’s WWE Superstar Samoa Joe here to warn you about the dangers of excess. There can be too much of a good thing, and moderation is key. You can make good choices, like having a few beers and enjoying yourself with friends, or you can have fourteen of them and wake up in jail if you wake up at all. He pours a beer and tells us to drink responsibly before offering a toast

Daniel Bryan makes his entrance and gets on the mic.

He says he called us all sheep last week and he’d like to apologize... to the sheep, who don’t deserve to be compared to us idiots, and they’re not mindlessly destroying the earth with their endless consumption. So no, we’re not sheep, but more like parasites. And he’s not surprised, we all latched onto his success and lived vicariously through him, but guess what?

The old Daniel Bryan is dead and so is the Yes! Movement, and so now all us idiots reside on the couch in the House That AJ Styles Built. But he’s the WWE Champion and not AJ Styles, and at TLC he’ll crush AJ’s dream of becoming WWE Champion again, and at the end of the match, the WWE Champion will be the new Daniel Bryan.

Don’t believe him? He debates with a friend of his all the time and they don’t know whether we’re stupid or if we deliberately pull the wool over our eyes to avoid the facts. In fact, his pal said stupidity is the deliberate cultivation of ignorance, and that’s prettymuch Las Vegas!

Enter Mustafa Ali, also mic in hand.

He introduces himself and Bryan cuts him off to tell him he knows who he is and invites him in the ring despite their match tonight. Dan introduces Ali as the Heart of 205 Live and an incredible performer, in fact he sees a lot of himself in Mustafa and he wants to give him some advice. They don’t need to have a match tonight, see, because after this match, these people won’t care.

They’re too self-absorbed, xenophobic, and consumed with their mindless consumption, and the truth is these fickle people don’t deserve the match. Ali asks what happened to him, saying he inspired him and made it possible to believe he could be a WWE Superstar and everyone on 205 Live looks up to him as the underdog who could go toe-to-toe with any giant because of his heart.

He keeps talking about “the old Daniel Bryan”, and he’d want to fight, so that’s what Mustafa wants! Bryan shakes his head and glowers at Ali before asking what kind of car he drives. Ali says he doesn’t know what has to do with this but he drives an SUV. Dan says he’s a small little man, why does he need to ride an SUV, to which Ali says he’s got a family and BRYAN SLAPS HIM! Leading to the match