Smackdown Thread

Charlotte Flair makes her entrance.

She talks about how Mr. McMahon made the main event of Fastlane even better at the top of the show tonight, almost as important as when he put her into the main event of WrestleMania against Ronda Rousey. She does exactly what is asked of her, unlike Lynch or Rousey, and she always delivers. Media, charity, live events, the main event, she’s the gold standard.

She would never have laid down the title when she was champion, and Becky and Ronda are afraid of her. Fear makes you do irrational things, and Lynch fears exposed (right like all the times Becky beat Charlotte last year in every one on one title matc) while Rousey fears getting another beatdown like at Survivor Series (a night Charlotte knew she couldn't get the job done & got herself dqed to avoid being pinned or submitted) but Flair fears nothing and no one (DON'T. YOU. BELIEVE. IT!). Ronda Rousey has some thoughts on what a true champion is, and Charlotte runs a clip of her saying just that in November, talking about standing guard in sickness and in health.

Flair and Ronda agree on this, but she says the difference is she’ll never quit and she’ll never lay the title down, because she’s the true champion, and that’s why next Monday she’ll be on Raw so Mr. McMahon can crown her the new Raw Women’s Champion

Kofi Kingston & Kevin Owens vs The New Daniel Bryan & Rowan:

Rowan with a Dropkick on Owens for a 2 count, Kofi with a Penalty Kick for a 2 count, Owens with a Tope con Hilo, Rowan with a Pumphandle Backbreaker on Kofi for a 2 count, Rowan slams Kofi on the floor back in for a 2 count, Big Splash for a 2 count, Bryan with a Superplex for a 2 count, another cover for a 2 count, Kofi with a rollup, but Bryan counters into The LeBell Lock, but Kofi makes it to the rope, Bryan with the Running Corner Dropkicks, Kofi counters the third into a Leaping Mushroom Stomp, Owens with a Cannonball, Rowan with the Claw, but Owens fights out and sends him to the floor with a Superkick, Bryan charges but Kevin counters with a Pop-Up Sit-Out Powerbomb for a near fall, up top, but Rowan sends him to the floor, Kofi wipes out Kofi with an Imploding Senton, Bryan sends Owens back in, he charges for the Busaiku Knee, but Kevin evades and hits a Stunner for the win

We get an in memory graphic for King Kong Bundy before the opening

Daniel Bryan makes his entrance, joined by Rowan as always. They enter the ring and Bryan gestures to the tron, which plays a video package recapping last week’s contract signing with Vince McMahon replacing Kofi Kingston with Kevin Owens. Dan gets on the mic and says last week he was silent while everyone gushed over Kingston and then when Vince replaced him, but now it’s his turn to speak and ours to remain silent.

Rowan tells us to shut up and open our ears so Bryan can enlighten us. Dan says he’s not out here to talk about Kofi and why would he? He’s not a leader, he’s a supporting player, which is why he’s exactly where he should be, with his buddies the New Day on a promotional tour of India. Mr. McMahon was right to replace him, but Bryan doesn’t agree with replacing him with a man who eats copious amounts of pancakes.

He gets why we like KO, because he’s just like all of us. He looks like us, and he’s a nobody, but that’s what makes him dangerous, because he’s a nobody with nothing to lose. But Bryan has everything to lose, being the Planet’s Champion and knowing that if he loses the entire planet loses. He doesn’t want to be called a martyr, but the weight--

Enter Kevin Owens. He says ever since he got injured five months ago, he stepped away from being a superstar and was just a member of the WWE Universe, since he sat back at home with his family and watched every show from his couch. Dan says that’s where he belongs and Kev continues, saying as great as the time off was, and it was really great, it was hard to sit back and watch other people do what he loves.

Except when Bryan was out here, because it was just awful watching him walk around like a maniac, talk down to everybody and act like he’s above everyone, and if there’s something he can’t stand it’s people who think they’re better than everyone else. And then it got worse when Dan threw the WWE Championship in the trash, that was the last straw and at that moment KO knew who he wanted to come back against and what he was coming after.

He speaks for his family and, he thinks, the entire WWE Universe, when he says Bryan deserves to get his stupid, condescending mouth shut and he’s the one that’s going to do it! Dan says it’s not his mouth he should be worried about, with all the garbage he shoves down his throat, and he’s providing wisdom, not empty calories. Owens asks if the intelligent Daniel Bryan is resorting to lowbrow easy fat jokes.

What makes him better, consuming organic carrots that he can shove up-- Dan points out that’s lowbrow as well and that’s why the people relate to Kevin, who says if he thinks he’s like the people because he thinks Bryan is a pretentious jackass, then YEP, he’s just like these people! But it’s not just that, like these people he doesn’t have a reality show or a seven foot tall backup dancer.

Dan interrupts and says the only reason Owens doesn’t have a seven footer next to him is that he doesn’t have any friends left. Kev admits that it’s true and now he’s lost them all but it’s his fault, and it’s okay because last week he didn’t need anybody to hit him with the Stunner and pin him 1-2-3, and the bottom line (wink wink) is that he never meant to take Kofi’s opportunity, but at Fastlane he’s gonna win and take the WWE Championship from him!

KO attacks Rowan, low bridge, Bryan in, double leg into mounted punches! He gets away, Stunner blocked... ROWAN WITH THE IRON-CLAW SLAM!

Jey Uso w/Jimmy Uso vs The Miz w/Shane McMahon:

Jey counters the Leaping Lariat in the corner to a Backslide for a 2 count, Miz with a Snap DDT for a near fall, he looks for the kill, but Jey blocks, Samoan Drop, Running Butt-Butt, up top, Miz gets his feet up, but Jey has it scouted, Jey with a rollup , Jimmy gives him an added assist, but Miz still kicks out, Shane wipes out Jimmy causing a distraction & Miz hits The Skull-Crushing Finale for the win

Backstage, Charlotte Flair is interviewed.

She asks if SmackDown is missing Becky Lynch’s presence, her hobbling around on a crutch or suffering from a beating, so she’s going to invite her here tonight. Flair recounts the stipulation Stephanie McMahon set and stumbles on her words a few times due to the OVERWHELMING CHANTS FOR BECKY LYNCH and says she wants to see if Becky is man enough to come talk about her physical and mental capabilities.

She just wants to have a friendly discussion, you see. (This isn't smart when Ronda made note on Instagram she was coming for Charlotte next, don't be surprised if she invades Smackdown tonight & takes one her limbs)

US Open Challenge
R-Truth w/Carmella vs Samoa Joe vs Rey Mysterio vs Andrade w/Zelina Vega:

Joe with a Running Senton on Mysterio for a 2 count, Joe wipes out Andrade with a Tope Suicida, Andrade with the Three Amigos on Rey, up top, but Rey crotches him, Truth with an Electric Chair, but Andrade turns it into a Victory Roll for a near fall, Truth with a pair of Stinger Splashes, but gets drilled with a ST-Joe, Andrade with a Powerbomb on Rey then the Double Moonsault, but Joe breaks the pin, Truth with the Flying Japlapeno, Spinebuster on Joe, Proto-Bomb on Mysterio then a Double Five-Knuckle Shuffle for a 2 count, Joe avoids the Ax Kick and locks in the Coquina Clutch, Rey breaks it up with a 619, Truth with a rollup on Mysterio for a near fall, Baseball Slide Splash on Truth, Andrade with a Sunsetflip Powerbomb on Mysterio, Vega with a Hurricanrana off the apron on Truth, Carmella with a Princess Kick to Vega, Andrade looks for a Powerbomb on Rey, but he counters into a Destructor de Mexicano, up top, Frog Splash, but Joe breaks it up with a Running Senton then hits Andrade with a Sambo Suplex to win the US Title

New Day report in from Mumbai India they're not at Smackdown, but say they will be there at Fastlane

Mandy Rose w/Sonya Deville vs Naomi:

Sonya distracts Naomi, Rose with Goddess Death then finishes Naomi with The Bed of Roses for the win

Asuka is behind Mandy & knocks Sonya the fuck out with a Roundhouse Kick then throws her into the led board, then sends Rose into the led board

Backstage, AJ Styles is interviewed about Owens/Bryan.

He says WWE Championship opportunities don’t grow on trees so you take them where you get them, but what happened with Kofi was a mistake. Owens is in a lose/lose situation and Kingston was straight-up robbed, and the McMahons aren’t listening to the WWE Universe like they said they would. This is Kofi’s moment, and--

Randy Orton rolls up to question AJ for defending someone else getting a title opportunity and says he can see why it took AJ fifteen years to get here

Charlotte Flair makes her entrance and we get a recap of last night’s closing segment.

She wonders how to attract Becky Lynch and leads the crowd in chanting for her, and lo and behold, it works!

Lynch hobbles her way out on a crutch and gets in the ring. She gets a mic from a crew member and begins, saying it’s good to be back and telling Charlotte that’s the sound you hear when The Man comes around. She wants to know about her well-being, well she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t hurting, but that’s okay if it’s the price to stay inside Flair’s head.

And oh, she’s in her head, and in Ronnie’s weird little head, too. Rousey can’t make up her mind, wanting the match one minute and doing her best to avoid it the next, and last night she hit her with her best but Becky’s still standing and she’s still ready to fight again. And Charlotte knows she’s owned her for months and beat her on one good leg, so yes her ribs may be bruised, her arm nearly broken, and her knee damaged, but damaged people are the most dangerous.

They have nothing left to lose, you see. CHARLOTTE KICKS THE CRUTCH OUT FROM UNDER HER AND KNOCKS HER DOWN! WHIPPING LYNCH WITH HER JACKET, SHE DRAGS HER AROUND AND GOES AFTER THE INJURED KNEE! POKING HER WITH THE CRUTCH, PRACTICALLY BEGGING HER TO FIGHT, SHE DRAGS BECKY INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE RING BUT THE MAN HAS THE CRUTCH AND TURNS IT AROUND, DIS-ARM-HER IS LOCKED ON!

Wrenching back as referees hit the ring to pull her off, she refuses to let go, dragging Flair along until finally the Queen gets away! Lynch tells Charlotte she’ll see her at Fastlane and Flair skulks away